This is her favorite spot in the house. She stares out the front window and watches the cars and the people biking and the couples walking with their stroller and dogs. Normally she asks questions or comments on their whereabouts and plans but today, today she was just exhausted from the day. It wasn’t a good day for any one of the Santos girls.
I’ll save you from the trauma of the day but I will say, I should have used any “down” time to refocus, pray for a kinder more gentle heart, play uplifting music, even maybe just drank some water. But instead, I used the very precious and limited down time I got to scroll through Instagram feeds, and quite literally feed my soul with thoughts of inadequacy and doubt. This week has already left me with moments of doubt, so it was easy for my weaken heart and my thoughts to succumb to lies. The kind of lies that we have to fight in our minds to disprove. The ones where we KNOW it’s not true yet a smaller darker voice inside says, “well maybe it is true.”
After my story share today I received so many broken hearted messages of other mothers that struggle with the same inadequate feelings. So, after reading these messages and hearing their stories, I did something. I cut ties with anything that made me think poorly of myself. And I want to ask you, If you ever for any reason are left feeling that you are unworthy, not enough, broken and useless, please cut ties with that that makes your heart believe so. Do it now if you have to. Don’t listen or feed into those lies for a minute longer!
I’m glad I wasn’t alone when I shared my thoughts, but I’m heartbroken that more content isn’t made to fill our hearts with uplift, to being more relatable and being honest. I’m going to do better. Not only for what I take in and view but what I post and share. Maybe you can help me do that too. Is there something that is more relatable that you’d like me to talk about? Or if I’m really being open here, maybe there are things you DON’T like that don’t fill you or bring you positive thoughts. I want to know that I’m on the side of uplift, and not discouragement.