In marriage, if we trust only in our emotions & feelings, we’ll be met with lots of disappointment. Feelings can change minute by minute! If you judge your marriage based on feelings & emotions, prepare to have a roller coaster of a marriage.
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This is what we faced in the beginning years of our marriage. We had spent eight years of ups and downs dating and finally on August 28th 2011 we joined together forever in love. You see, we married knowing we had similar hopes and dreams, but due to a lack of communication, we had differing timelines and ways about achieving those goals. When we got married, we entered marriage with specific expectations of each other. This idealistic view of who “man” & “wife” was suppose to be as oppose to what we truly were. AJ was selfish and critical. Kailey was a relentless bulldozer. AJ’s impatience in Kailey’s business start up phases and his desire for immediate payoff from her business overpowered the desire to see Kailey pursue a fulfilling career path. On the other side, Kailey was thoughtless about major life decisions, and was unwilling to accept financial truths, sometimes ignoring AJ’s requests for clarity in her business decisions. This pushed AJ to make poor decisions for the two of them. If only Kailey had communicated her wishes to him for certain things in life and if only He had the selfless heart for her to pursue her dreams. It didn’t seem foolish at the time but looking back we know it was wrong to have these skewed expectations of each other. Our marriage was in a constant pull with heavy tension and stressful moments that often turned into loud, ugly outbursts and destructive arguments.
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As we fought like crazy to keep our marriage strong and loving, we still struggled to understand just what our marriage needed (even AJ resisted for awhile). Through these tough times we learned two very impactful truths: most couples that enter marriage are poor commutators & we need to learn to communicate to keep our marriages strong…